To date, I have only met one school administrator who was not a petty authoritaria. She was in charge of a tiny school of about 50 people, and was also a teacher there, so I'm pretty sure she was an aberration. Talking with other people has pretty well confirmed it: the kind of behavior you describe is very common. Accommodating an exchange student without a report card, or letting you out of an ill-fitting state requirement, would be inconvenient for them, and would be a precedent for even more inconvenience. Your own welfare is trivial compared to that. And if you argue, then you are an impudent child who must be dominated to re-establish their authority over you. The harder you argue, the more imperative it becomes that they not listen.

One of the great pleasures of adulthood is no longer being forced to suffer the presence of such people in my life.